they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
