I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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