dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
honey bunches of taint.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
