shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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