Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
God, you're like boner-b-gone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
