i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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