honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
