I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
