Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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