how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
