i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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