508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
