Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I need to align my fucking chakras
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
