The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
