the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I showed him my bush... on skype.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
