we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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