Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
