Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
where are you?
Hypothermia
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
