Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
