you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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