After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
