Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
this will be a night to untag.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
