I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
