Is it normal to miss your booty call?
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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