can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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