Jerry, you need to find god
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
