You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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