We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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