Where are you?
In a non slutty way
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
