I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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