a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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