He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His hands were made for my vagina.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
