He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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