): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
