is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
