i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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