tell your sister to shave her snatch
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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