Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
