guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
