i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
