In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
