Me too!
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
