He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
