Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
