At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
