Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
