Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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