Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
