it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
