He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
