I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
